5 Pilots I Hope Don’t Make it to Series
Reboot may be just another word for nothing left to lose, but Tinseltown shows no signs of slowing down its sausage factory like production of refried source material. Charlie Angels has been reboot several times, most recently the two big budget, splashy film adaptations, but now the jigglevision franchise is coming back home to television. Veteran heartthrob Robert “RJ” Wagner is assuming the role of “Charlie” in the ABC reboot. The former Hart to Hart star and perpetual bon vivant is the right balance of cheek, charm, cheese and gravitas. And despite knowing better, I am kind of all over this potential reboot. The same can’t be said for 90% of the other dreck the networks have to sort through before announcing their fall lineups.Entertainment Weekly has a round up of the pilots hoping for that series order. Of the slew of pilot hopefuls, five impressed me by being the worst of a terrible lot.
“Work It” (comedy)
- “Two out-of-work salesmen realize that it is now a woman’s world and decide that in order to find work and succeed, they are going to have to dress as women to get jobs as pharmaceutical reps.”
It should be fairly obvious to our readership why this is destined for failure. Leaving aside the high speed train bound for transphobia, the premise has been DONE. It was called “Bosom Buddies” and it was awful too. Besides, unless this foolishness is set on Wonder Woman’s island I’m pretty sure white collar males regardless of competency can find jobs without resorting to this.
“Weekends at Bellevue” (drama)
- Drama based on the book by Julie Holland, MD; drama that centers on a psychiatrist in charge of the weekend shift of Bellevue Hospital psychiatric unit. (drama)
It’s based on a novel, which doesn’t mean it’s inherently better. Based on the cast (Lauren Ambrose) and the show runners (some people I’ve never heard of) I am not sure what could be gained from a show about a psych ward with its story focused on the poor, privileged clinical staff who have to treat the crazy people. Now a show about folks dealing with the system, the uneasy alliances forged with advocates and the passionate people in the trenches who eventually burnout because of lack of support – I’d give that looksee.
“Prime Suspect” (drama)
- US Series adaptation of the British miniseries.
Absolutely not. Not with Maria Bello not even on a dare. La Mirren owned this role. Nobody can touch La Mirren. And more importantly, they shouldn’t try. This is from someone who enjoyed the slow-pitch version of “Life on Mars” that ran on ABC a couple of years ago.
“Good Christian Bitches” (primetime soap)
- Set in Dallas and asks the question – Is it possible to start over in a town that thinks they already know you? Amanda once the ultimate “mean girl” in high school, returns home to Dallas after her marriage ends in scandal. Humbled, Amanda is nothing like the girl she once was. But as her old classmates reacquaint themselves with the new Amanda, will these “Good Christian Bitches” give her a second chance or is this their shot to seek revenge?
Wait, isn’t “Desperate Housewives” still on the air? Why do we need another one. It stars Leslie Bibb who I just think is a terrible actress.
- When the Tennessee town of Hallelujah finds itself being torn apart by forces of good and evil, a stranger arrives to bring justice, peace and quite possibly restore the faith in the world that the residents so desperately need. The episodes will be punctuated by songs sung by the gospel choir, which serves as a sort of Greek chorus.
Oh this sounds awful, and I love me some Jesse L. Martin singing! It also stars Donal Logue so even it does make it to series, it’ll be swiftly canceled because Logue is an anathema to audiences. But you’re not listening; you’re watching Jesse L. Martin singing “Science Fiction Double Feature” in the above link. Xena, what have we done to deserve this.
Review the entire list here and give us your picks for “Oh HELL NAW!”